what is this feeling, so sudden and new?

On Today's Menu: The Real World vs. The Land of Oz. (I've been listening to Wicked a little too much lately...)

As the reality of my summer voyage overseas is beginning to settle itself into the recesses of my brain, I have noticed large amounts of stress consistently being deposited into my blood stream, resulting in a pretty serious condition of deer-in-the-headlights syndrome. One would think that the ugly stress monster would raise it's head right off the bat, considering the mountain of paper work that had to be filled out, passport information sent, fees paid, flights booked, and so on. This, however, was not the case for me. Instead, as the summer faithfully spins its way back around the seasonal wheel, I am becoming more attentive to the certainty of this trip. I guess it was easier back in the fall to remain in a dreamlike state, seeing only through my mind's eye and not my existent eye, that this experience wouldn't take place for another so many months.

But now here I am: application sent, acceptance letter received, mountain of paper work conquered, flights booked, expenses paid...summer approaching. There is a huge portion of me screaming "Woohoo!" while another huge portion is saying "um, what have I gotten myself into?" Weird how it works like that, isn't it? I guess it's all part of the human experience, no?

So now you may be wondering: what does this reality look like? Well...I have moved out of the "taking care of business" phase and into a new one I like to call, the "questions without answers" phase. This includes:

1. Who are the other applicants?
At this point I know of exactly one person, a dude attending the University of Kansas who will be in the same program I will be in, and at the moment, I can't even remember this guy's name.

2. What will my dorm be like? What will the university/my classes be like? Should I take a computer? I'm definitely taking my English/Spanish dictionary!

3. What will the weather be like? The food? Transportation options? Is there a dress code?

4. And then the mother question: What am I going to do when I get off the plane in Madrid and come face to face with the realization that I don't know a single person in the entire country and really don't speak the language well enough to get around on my own?

Okay, I just read back over this entry and realize that it sounds like I'm having a major freak-out, but let me just take a moment to reassure you (as well as myself) that these questions will and do have answers. The program has been faithful in sending me information about some of these things and has promised to send more detailed information in the coming weeks. I'll let you know what I find out.